Archive | June, 2018

Homosexuality Part 3. Confirmation Bias, Hindsight Bias and Gender Construction.

18 Jun

As I mentioned in part 1 this inquiry was started due to my own experience. I have/ had gender dysphoria. I say have /had because now that I’ve accepted my self for who I am I no longer feel confused  but I am still outside of the norm.
From the time that I start school I felt more comfortable around girls. Boys scared me. A few years later when I was about nine I started to want to be a girl. For birthday presents I wanted Barbies and Teddie bears. I never got them however. as my dad was old school and dolls were for sissies My Mum was open to it.
When I got to High school I found I was attracted to girls but still felt like I wanted to be a girl.
As I learnt more I decided that I was  a female spirit trapped in a male body. Then I met my wife who seemed to be the opposite of me a male trapped in a female body or so I thought at first, things turned out differently in the end. .
I stayed away from psychologist and psychiatrist for years due to the stigmas that my family placed on them . You go to a shrink if your not normal and its bad to be not normal. or you go if you  cant cope and not coping is weakness. We need to be tough and strong.
By the time I’d been married for a few years and with my mother in law being a psychologist I had a change in feeling about psychologists.
I was having relationship issues so I went and saw a gestalt psychologist . II cant remember how many times that I saw her. But she suggested that I had gender dysphoria.The way she described it clicked in my mind and  made sense to me.
we looked into my childhood. due to my sickness i was weak physically I found it hard to do tough things  which frustrated my Dad. so I spent a lot of time with my Mum and my Grandma. Who is Scottish , Her Scottish culture was very matriarchal. So she explained that its natural that I would want to be a girl in a culture that matriarchal.  .We also figured out that I wanted to be looked after and that culture shows women being cared for by men.sure they have ot do the cooking cleaning and child raising but generally they are looked after by me. tat least int eh culture I was raised in . Nowadays things are different.I think we have lost something in out culture now that it seems to be every person for them selves. with no one really caring for anyone else any more unless they have to and even then they resent it, As they could be out doing there own thing instead of being stuck with disabled people, the elderly or children,
So that’s my story. Just because people feel they are a certain way doesn’t mean they need to be defined by it.

I decided that I was a girl trapped in a male body. once i made that decision 3 things happened.1 Hind sight bias kicked in

Hindsight bias, also known as the knew-it-all-along effect or creeping determinism, is the inclination, after an event has occurred, to see the event as having been predictable, despite there having been little or no objective basis for predicting it.[1][2] It is a multifaceted phenomenon that can affect different stages of designs, processes, contexts, and situations.[3] Hindsight bias may cause memory distortion, where the recollection and reconstruction of content can lead to false theoretical outcomes. It has been suggested that the effect can cause extreme methodological problems while trying to analyze, understand, and interpret results in experimental studies. A basic example of the hindsight bias is when, after viewing the outcome of a potentially unforeseeable event, a person believes he or she “knew it all along”. 


In my case when I was in my teens I looked back at my childhood an reaffirmed that I was a girl by remembering all the times i want girl things but forgetting all the times that I wanted boy things as it didn’t fit the narrative i was trying to construct for my self.

2 confirmation bias kicked in.

Confirmation bias, also called confirmatory bias or myside bias,[Note 1] is the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms one’s preexisting beliefs or hypotheses.[1] It is a type of cognitive bias and a systematic error of inductive reasoning. People display this bias when they gather or remember information selectively, or when they interpret it in a biased way. The effect is stronger for emotionally charged issues and for deeply entrenched beliefs. Confirmation bias is a variation of the more general tendency of apophenia.

People also tend to interpret ambiguous evidence as supporting their existing position. Biased search, interpretation and memory have been invoked to explain attitude polarization (when a disagreement becomes more extreme even though the different parties are exposed to the same evidence), belief perseverance (when beliefs persist after the evidence for them is shown to be false), the irrational primacy effect (a greater reliance on information encountered early in a series) and illusory correlation (when people falsely perceive an association between two events or situations).

A series of psychological experiments in the 1960s suggested that people are biased toward confirming their existing beliefs. Later work re-interpreted these results as a tendency to test ideas in a one-sided way, focusing on one possibility and ignoring alternatives. In certain situations, this tendency can bias people’s conclusions. Explanations for the observed biases include wishful thinking and the limited human capacity to process information. Another explanation is that people show confirmation bias because they are weighing up the costs of being wrong, rather than investigating in a neutral, scientific way. However, even scientists can be prone to confirmation bias.[2]

Confirmation biases contribute to overconfidence in personal beliefs and can maintain or strengthen beliefs in the face of contrary evidence. Poor decisions due to these biases have been found in political and organizational contexts.[3][4]

wikipedia Confirmation bias.

3 my constructed reality kicked in. I had built up this false/ distorted reality. We are born a certain Sex but gender is the product of culture. Gender is how we act.  but we can sometime want to act contrary to how we should and in ways that are detrimental to us. So times its  hard for us to give up our constructed realities in favor of better ones.  These constructed realities are comfortable, yet at times they can be maladaptive and no longer meets our needs  it is at these time that we need to abandon the false reality for one more closer to the true reality.

We just need to accept ourselves as we are . if we are a female trapped in a male body that is who we are. In today’s trans society they say that you need to be your inner self if you feel female you should be female.  I would not like to be growing up in today’s society with gender dysphoria. My current physiologist gave my some info on gender dysphoria most people grow out of it .So encouraging kids to become what gender they feel is misguided.  kids today have enough to deal with.  I could go on and on as this is a topic that I feel strongly about as it is very personal for me. i will stop here .

How to spot a Sociopath

4 Jun

I found out that now a days the terms Psychopath and Sociopath are not widely used in clinical settings. They are classified as Personality Disorders  They exist on a spectrum .

This is from the how to site.
A sociopath can be defined as a person who has Antisocial Personality Disorder. This disorder is characterized by a disregard for the feelings of others, a lack of remorse or shame, manipulative behavior, unchecked egocentricity, and the ability to lie in order to achieve one’s goals. Sociopaths can be dangerous at worst or simply very difficult to deal with, and it’s important to know if you have found yourself with a sociopath, whether it’s someone you’re dating or an impossible coworker. If you want to know how to spot a sociopath, then you have to pay careful attention to what the person says or does.

Reading the Signs

1. Look for a lack of shame. Most sociopaths can commit vile actions and not feel the least bit of remorse. Such actions may include physical abuse or public humiliation of others. If the person is a true sociopath, then he or she will feel no remorse about hurting others, lying, manipulating people, or just generally acting in an unacceptable way.
When a sociopath does something wrong, he or she is likely to accept none of the blame and to blame others instead.
Sociopaths are willing to hurt whomever whenever if it means that they will achieve their goals. This is why many sociopaths are highly successful people. However, keep in mind that although many people think sociopaths hunt people for sport, this is often not true. They just do as they please and do not care about how it affects others.
Sociopaths may be cruel to animals and will show absolutely no remorse for that, either.

2. See if the person is constantly lying. Sociopaths are perfectly comfortable going through their lives telling a series of lies. In fact, true sociopaths are uncomfortable when they are telling the truth. If they are finally caught in a lie, then they will continue to lie and backpedal to cover up the lies. If they are really on the verge of being caught in a major, major lie, though, they may then wildly confess everything in order to maintain your loyalty.
For example, they might promise to seek help and then never follow through with it, or they might make changes for a short while and then return to their old ways.
Sociopaths love to lie about their pasts, too. Look for inconsistencies in their stories. Also, pay attention if someone familiar with their past grossly disagrees with their version of events or unknowingly discloses important information that the sociopath withheld.
Some sociopaths will go to great lengths to make you believe their lies. For example, a sociopath may pretend to leave “to go to work” every single day even if that person is unemployed.
Many sociopaths are delusional to the point where they believe that their lies are the truth. For example, Charles Manson once said, “I’ve never killed anyone! I don’t need to kill anyone!” (He said this in reference to the fact that his followers killed someone and not he himself.)

3. See if they are able to stay eerily calm in spite of circumstances. A sociopath can experience a highly emotional event (for others) without feeling any emotion. Sociopaths don’t register events the same way as non-sociopaths and may barely react in dangerous or scary situations. If they forget to act, they may respond to any good or bad news with a cold blank stare.
If you find yourself flustered or panicked and the person you’re with doesn’t look perturbed, then he or she may not register an event seriously like you do. This may be a sign of impaired empathy. This includes sociopaths, who lack emotional empathy.
Check to see if the person has ever seemed anxious or nervous, especially in situations that should naturally cause this behavior. Though some people are more even-keeled than others, most people demonstrate some form of anxiety eventually.
Also, consider if they have ever responded strongly with emotion in a situation where that seemed unwarranted. This could be fabricated (fake) emotion, or it might have been a defense mechanism.
Studies show that sociopaths do not demonstrate anxiety when shown images that would disturb others or when expecting to receive small electrical shocks, while non-sociopaths do register anxiety and fear in these situations.[1]

4. Consider if they are extremely charming and generous—at least at first. Sociopaths are great at charming people and making grand, generous gestures because they know how to get what they want. Charming people know how to make people feel special, to ask people the right questions about themselves, and to generally be perceived as fun, likable, and interesting. Truly charming people possess the ability to charm almost anyone, from little kids to old ladies. If the person is incredibly charming and generous at first glance, while his or her later behavior scares or confuses you, then you may have a sociopath on your hands.
The person might go out of their way to help strangers or be incredibly generous with people they hardly know. However, they might be the total opposite with family and close friends.
You can think of sociopaths as con artists who always have a secret agenda. They need to know how to charm people in order to get what they want. To advance their goals, they first have to blend in with the crowd, which means they need to know how to smile, greet people, and make people feel comfortable.
Although many sociopaths can be extremely charming, they harbor strong antisocial inclinations. They can be extremely charming, and then cold and distant. They are also not quite genuine in the interactions either. When people are very polar in their behavior, ranging from antisocial to extremely charming, it’s a marker of disintegration in their psyche – and it’s a red flag. It can also be an attempt to elicit rejection and wounding, to then control the others with. It is always accompanied with a lack of compassion or basic consideration of another’s life. If it doesn’t feel genuine from within them, it could very well be a person with sociopathic tendencies.

5. Notice if the person is manipulative. Sociopaths understand human weakness and exploit it maximally. Once determined, they can manipulate individuals to do just about anything. Sociopaths prey on weak people and often stay away from equally strong people; they look for people who are sad, insecure, or looking for a meaning in life because they know that these people are soft targets. In other words, a person with unmet needs is a person that can be more easily manipulated through those unmet needs. Check to see if the person is great at getting other people to do what he or she wants.
Sociopaths will slowly gain dominance and control over a person without the person realizing it. They like to be in control of every situation and are uncomfortable being around other strong people. They will often offer to do everything under the guise of being helpful, but actually they want to be in control of everything. They are always worried about being exposed.
When strong people are around, they are afraid to get caught. They will keep their distance, and from a distance, make small contact with the ‘strong’ person, to see if they are noticed. However, sociopaths like to prey on the strongest people they can deceive, remain unseen, or exposed from. Once they feel exposed, they will play their trump cards, or get out… always on an excuse that doesn’t make sense.
Much of their dominance they gain through psychological warfare, creating dependency of the other person upon themselves. Like a venom, their game plan is to weaken people over time. They figure if they can remain unseen, they can stay out of harm’s way.
See if the person is completely comfortable deceiving people and blatantly telling lies to get what he or she wants. In the same way they have little to no empathy, they have low or deficient integrity. However, outsiders may think this person has excellent moral character.

6. Look for signs of instigating violent behavior. As children some sociopaths torture defenseless people and animals. This violence is always instigating, and not defensive violence. They will create drama out of thin air, or twist what others say. They will often overreact strongly to minor offenses. If they are challenged or confronted about it, they will point the finger the other way, counting on the empathic person’s empathy and consideration of people to protect them, as long as they can remain undetected. Their attempt to point the finger the other way, is both a smokescreen to being detected, and an attempt to confuse the situation.
If you have the sense that, while the person is outwardly calm, he or she can snap and get violent at any moment, yet become calm again soon after, then he or she may be demonstrating sociopathic tendencies.

7. See if the person has a huge ego. Sociopaths often have delusions of grandeur and think they are the greatest people in the world. They will be completely unresponsive to criticism and have an extremely inflated sense of self. They will also have a huge sense of entitlement, thinking that they deserve for others to create amazing things for them, without consideration for their wellbeing. They don’t care about others, just wish to use them.[2]
They may also have a completely unrealistic view of their own abilities; for example, they may think that they are extremely talented at singing or dancing, when in reality, they possess almost no skills in these fields. They either are delusional, which is often true, or/and they say such things to add to the facade or mask are wearing/creating in their agenda of deception.
The person may also think he or she is better than everyone around him or her, without evidence that he or she is superior.
The person may also be narcissistic. Thus, the person is far more interested in talking about him or herself than hearing what others have to say. Sociopaths can take any person’s struggle or suffering and make it about them. Also, the person spends a great deal of time staring in the mirror rather than observing others in the world. The person, in general, doesn’t want to hear what anyone else has to say.

8. Notice if the person has few real friends. Though not everyone gets lucky in the friends lottery, your guard should go up if the person has virtually no real friends. He or she may have lackeys, people who hang around him just to get bossed around, or people who hover around him to try to mooch off of him, but try to see if the person has any meaningful connections with people. If the person has almost no friends, then there’s a high chance that there’s something wrong with him or her, unless he’s very shy or has another compelling reason to lack friends.[3]
This goes for family members, too. If the person isn’t in touch with any family members and never talks about them, there may be a problem, too. Of course, that person may have other reasons for not talking to these people, such as having a difficult childhood.
Look for a lack of connection to the past. If the person has virtually no friends from high school, college, or any past part of his or her life, then he or she may be a sociopath as well. Take note if the person gives you stories of repeated betrayals throughout their life and uses this to explain a lack of friendships or history of failed relationships. Once exposed, or they find a more ideal target or victim, they move on. Their wish is to wreak havoc on people’s lives.

9.Consider if the person likes to isolate you. Sociopaths like to meet people and to move fast and come in close. This is so you don’t have a chance to pull back or change your mind. You may find that, after just a few weeks, the sociopath is acting very intensely around you, if you’re romantically involved. He or she may even make you feel like you’re soul mates because he or she is so good at reading people that he or she can say exactly what you want to hear. The Sociopath likely has determined you have an unmet need or dream to be in a close relationship, and they consider it a good opportunity to wear a mask that fits that need or dream. Ultimately, the sociopath will want to have you all to him or herself instead of “sharing” you with the world.[4]
If you’re dating, the sociopath will quickly try to get you to stop hanging out with your friends, because he or she will feel threatened by them. He or she will make excuses for not hanging out with your friends, saying things like, “They don’t really get you like I do” or “They never gave me a chance,” or, “They are just turning you against me because they don’t like me”. They play the victim to the extreme, and try to elicit empathic protection from their target. Trying to make you feel like you are the only one who can save him or her, and that you should spend all of your time with him or her, and listen only to him or her.

10 See if the person is immature. Sociopaths do not learn from their mistakes and repeat the same ones again and again. Therefore, they do not grow or develop as much as other people do. Look for immature behavior that may be hidden underneath the person’s veneer of charisma and charm. Here is some behavior to look for:
Extreme selfishness. The person may want everything for him or herself at any cost. With this comes an unwillingness to share.
A huge ego. The person may be so obsessed with him or herself that he or she doesn’t care for others at all. Neediness. The person may want you to be there for him or her whenever you are wanted. Unready for responsibilities. The person may not be prepared or able to deal with or be given any form of meaningful responsibility. They will either pass any work off onto others and take credit whilst excusing failure, or will avoid responsibility entirely.

11. Look for gaslighting. Since sociopaths lie and deceive, they have the tendency to make the victim look and feel as though they are the problem that the sociopath is causing. The medical terminology is “projection”. This is a calling card of the sociopath.
Blaming you for what they have done to you. If the person is lying and accuses you of being a liar, then you could be dealing with a sociopath.
Making you feel crazy. If the person is doing something that is driving you nuts, and making it seem as though you are crazy, then you are likely dealing with a sociopath.

12. Observe if they use an intense, manipulative stare to attempt to intimidate you. A sociopath’s ego is fueled by a victim’s discomfort.
If the person uses a cold, blank stare to intimidate you, and shows no remorse for your nervousness, you are probably dealing with a sociopath.

How to spot a Psychopath.

4 Jun

My 12 year old son keeps on calling people around him psychopaths or sociopaths I’ll post a different article on how to spot a sociopath. So I did a google search and came across this site called 2 know  thy self. They outline 10 signs on: I used to think that all politicians were Psychopaths but now after reading this list I realize I was wrong. but it does seem to fit some Like Tony Abbot and Keven Rudd.

How to spot psychopaths
1) The experience Intense jealousy: All humans experience the feelings of jealousy, those feelings don’t make anyone a bad person. But when those emotions become very intense that they motivate the person to try to harm the ones they are jealous of then make sure that this person is mentally unstable. As you might have guessed i get many questions everyday from readers of the website. Sometimes a smart psychopath sends me a message that seems to be containing a question but the underlying goal of the message is to put me down. This is always a clear sign of intense jealousy. Beware of the people who don’t clap when you succeed and those who try to put you down while acting like they aren’t.

2) They try to hurt you with words: A psychopath might come as a close charming friend but as they act like they are trying to give you advice they can select the words that will harm you the most. I once had a coaching client who had severe racist tendencies. Each time she sends a question she adds a recent remark in between the lines. Because those people feel totally worthless they try to put any person down in order to feel good about themselves.

3) They seek vengeance ruthlessly: A sane and a normal person can still feel like they want to avenge themselves but a psychopath will go lengths when doing that. In the Ultimate guide to becoming confident i said that This is usually a sign of egotism, narcissism and imaginary inflated self importance that results from intense feelings of inferiority. The person feels totally worthless and thus they tries to exaggerate their importance in order to feel better

4) They are very inconsistent: I once met a person who claimed to be very religious. He even grew a beard to make himself look more like a religious person. Up until here there were no warning signs. During my friend conversation with that person he kept bad mouthing others and putting them down in their absence. Because psychopaths lie, cheat and deceive they usually display very inconsistent behavior

5) They suppress their hatred: There was a guy that i knew very well. Whenever i saw this guy i met him with a big smile on my face, just like i always do with the people i know. One day the guy frowned in my face for no reason. He then started repeating the same behaviour during different encounters. I knew at this moment that this guy had psychopathic tendencies but because i knew him well i just decided to give him a chance to prove the opposite. Then one day i found a very insulting comment on my Facebook wall written by that person. The explanation i had is that this guy started hating me, maybe because of jealousy, but never displayed it. At one point he exploded and it became evident that he is a psychopath.

6) Their hatred show in their tongue slips: A psychopath might act like they are your friends but deep inside they might hate you. I once saw a person laughing madly at a bad joke that put one of their friends down. I suspected that this person is a mentally unstable one. Later on that person stopped talking to that friend and even made it clear that they hate them. A psychopath might try to act friendly but their tongue slips and uncontrolled emotions will easily expose them.

7) They will try to put you down: If you just met a person and they tried to put you down by their words, for no apparent reason, then know that probably they are mentally unstable. This happened with me once and i concluded that i was dealing with a mentally sick person. Later on this person started to display direct signs of hatred towards me even though i barely knew them. See Why are some people full of hate

8) They have little empathy: A psychopath will usually have very little if no empathy towards others or towards certain groups of people. This is why racism could be one side of psychopathy. A psychopath can hurt others and never feel guilty, they can have a very dark sense of humor and they might laugh at others misfortunes. Have you seen those popular Gifs where a person suffers from a horrible accident and then people laugh? Beware of those who laugh at those Gifs.

9) They are antisocial: Many people are shy while others lack social skills. But in the end if someone smiled to you and was nice you will automatically smile back at them and be nice. Beware of those who respond to kindness with antisocial behaviour

10) They gossip a lot: Intense hatred and jealousy create a serious emotional burden. One of the ways mentally ill people use to release this emotional burden is gossiping. Do you know this kind of hateful gossiping people sometimes use? That could be a serious sign
of mental instability.


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